Choosing Peace

A Value That Changed My Life 🙏

This voiceover is an audio version of my Slow Sunday Letter below. It is unedited, so may have some stutters, imperfections, and background noise. I hope you enjoy listening to it anyway!

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Welcome back to another Slow Sunday Letter! I hope you have had a slow and gentle week.

A warm welcome to all my readers and subscribers to Generosity of Spirit and thank you to my paid members of Slow & Steady, I appreciate your company so much. I hope you are enjoying these letters and the invitation to slow down, and live gently.

“Peace is not something you wish for; it’s something you make, something you do, something you are.” - Robert Fulghum

In this week’s Slow Sunday Letter, I want to reflect on the value of peace, and why it has become one of my most treasured and important values. The way we protect our energy and care for our nervous systems is one of our most powerful and influential choices. Choosing peace and calm every day for me is deeply intentional. I have come to realise that without peace and calm, everything collapses around me.

Grab a cuppa, get cosy and let’s create a moment of calm right here and now …

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Choosing Peace

Cultivating peace and calm has become so important to me, and peace has become one of my most important values. I protect my peace as fiercly as I can. Not only this, but I need to ensure peace in my life in order to feel like me, keep my anxiety under control, thrive and flourish and live a life that feels good to me.

I need a lot of alone time, I need quiet and calm. In the quiet I can relax and be myself. I tap into my authentic self more easily, and I can hear my voice more clearly.

In normal every day settings - just going to work, events, or even spending time with family and friends, I can be enjoying myself, having fun, or having a productive day at work, but I also get easily worn down. It is like a sand timer has been turned over - and as soon as I step out of my peace and calm the sand starts to run out. Sometimes slow, sometimes fast - depending on the situation, the energy, or how balanced and centred I may feel.

Peace and calm are integral to my wellbeing, my creativity and my ability to show up for others.

How did peace become one of my core values?

I think it begun, as most things do, in childhood. My family life was, like a lot of us - loving and full, but also chaotic, noisy and busy. There are a lot of big personalities in my family - lots of emotions and passion … and life is unpredictable and messy. For a more sensitive, introvert with a rumbling sense of anxiety building steadily - family life could be really tough.

I often anticipated the next explosion, the next drama - I tiptoed around on egg shells and witnessed the drama unfolding around me - sometimes I could see it building. I’d notice it all. It all felt like uncertain ground beneath me. The rise up of emotions, and then the fall.

The world is built for extroverts, and I figured out a way of pretending to be one - all through school and work life. I started to figure out how to hide in plain sight. I projected a more confident, more extroverted person out into the world. I quickly realised that if you act happy and confident - people feel more comfortable, they take that at face value, and more often than not they then leave you alone. It became my armour and my shield. A way of protecting myself, and helped me cope with the noise and chaos, and big personalities in the world.

The trouble is - it isn’t real. It is all smoke and mirrors. And, as I got older - my anxiety grew and grew.

Waves of issues, memories, experiences, hurt started to swell. The swell became stronger and stronger, and started to smash against my shaky, uneven foundations.

Wave after wave - until finally, after the loss of my Mum - the waves became too strong, and this foundation, and my armour and shield - collapsed, broke, tumbled down and floated away.

Years and years of pretending to be someone I wasn’t collapsed under the weight of my anxiety.

I found myself washed out to sea - with no idea how to find my way back to shallower, calmer waters.

I had to of course, because life stops for no one, and the world keeps turning.

I had to find my way back - and rebuild these foundations. But this time, I had to rebuild them for me. I had to discover how to be me, how to live authentically, how to live a life that was in alignment - a life that felt safe, and gentle.

I had to step away from the noise, and the chaos so I could hear myself. I had to meet myself for the first time, listen to her, and then begin to rebuild my life. This time, not with the voices, opinions of others, and not in a bid to be invisible, or even project an illusion of myself out into the world. This time, from the ground up I had to take the time to discover who I was, what my truth was, what mattered to me, and how I could find solid ground beneath me, to stand firm and rebuild something real.

So much of that started from finding, holding on to, and then protecting my peace.

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How I Create Peace & Calm in my Life

So how do I cultivate peace and calm?

Creating calm for me centres around slow and gentle living. Slow living has taught me so much, about living in the present, feeling gratitude, embracing simple living and simply slowing right down (in nearly all aspects of life). I find ways to encourage peace everyday with quiet, simple rituals that calm and ground me.

It can be as simple as in the morning, waking up earlier, not rushing my cup of tea, taking time to write my morning pages, reading a few pages and leaving more time to get to work so I can enjoy a slower walk. Or in the evening, gentle music, limited TV, pottering and hobbies like colouring in, or junk journaling, enjoying the process of cooking and eating at the table, sometimes an evening walk after dinner and some cosy reading.

These are small and simple rituals, that anchor the beginning of my day and the end of my day - and remind me that I can always choose where I place my attention.

However, there have also been bigger, more gradual changes that have taken place in my life that have enabled me to create a life that is quiet, peaceful and safe for me. The two most important have been creating boundaries, and taking time to find, and get to know myself. All of this under the guidance of slow and gentle living.

Boundaries

I have worked on my boundaries, a lot! Boundaries help protect our time, energy, and for me my peace. It helps me manage my anxiety, and they have been vital in helping me shape a life that feels good.

Boundaries help us care for ourselves, whilst creating invisible guidelines that protect our well-being and personal space. The key is creating a life that is healthy and open whilst maintaining these protective boundaries, and that can be difficult. It takes time, and certainly for me, when I started creating boundaries (in what felt like the first time ever!) they started out strong, rigid and firm. As I got stronger, got to know myself more, and found more peace they have become more open and flexible, yet still firm. I understand myself more, so feel more confident in adapting my boundaries to different situations now. My priority will always be protecting the peace I have fought for, and worked so hard for so there are still some non negotiables. When boundaries are healthy, we can enjoy and take part in relationships without losing our sense of self, always working on setting your limits without guilt and feeling confident and comfortable in your relationships.

This is one of the hardest things I have had to navigate whilst finding and protecting my peace and I am still a work in progress here!

Self Discovery

The second most significant element in choosing peace was taking my time to get to know myself. There is no short cut towards self-discovery, and it is completely unique for everyone. It is essentially, taking the time to learn about yourself, connect with your authentic self – your values, beliefs, motivations and more. It is the peeling back of your layers, your memories, what makes you, you. It is the process of understanding and loving yourself. It goes deep, it is long, and requires a lot of work and vulnerability. However, it is some of the most important work you can do. It is ultimately, and powerfully life-affirming. The process of self-discovery helps you gain a clearer sense of purpose and direction, whilst encouraging true self-love and acceptance.

My journey of self-discovery started a couple of years after the loss of my mum, I had tried to keep going … but the pain and loss, my growing anxiety and my disconnection from myself, and the rest of the world started to slowly engulf me until I reached my breaking point.

I built myself from the ground up. I did the work; I took my time, and I made a lot of changes.

Slow and Gentle Living

I had done a lot of this work before I came across the concept of slow living. I can still remember when I started reading about slow living, the wave of recognition and the penny finally dropped. I had always craved peace, calm and safety, and I started to realise approaching life under the guidance of slow and gentle living was everything my mind, body and spirit needed. It has completely changed my life.

Slowing down has enabled me to find and hold onto peace in my life. It has taught me that I don’t have to match the pace of the world to find meaning. I realised that my need for calm is integral to my wellbeing, and helps me tune into my mind, body and spirit.

Slow and gentle living has really encouraged me, helped me reframe my days, and provided me with a guiding philosophy that speaks directly to my soul, whilst showing me ways to put peace at the centre of my life.

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Journal Prompts : Peace & Calm

• When do I feel most at peace?

• What environments, people, or moments bring me calm?

• What does “calm” look like in my daily life—and how do I know when I’m out of alignment with it?

• What small practices help me reconnect with peace and calm?

• What could I do to invite more peace into my life?

• Where in my life can I slow down?

• What boundaries protect my peace?

• Where might I need to create or reinforce my boundaries to create more peace in my life?

• What does peace feel like in my body?

• In my mind?

• In my heart?

To read more about how to embrace slow living and encourage more peace in your life read Slow & Gentle Living - The Basics following the link below:

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I really hope today’s Slow Sunday Letter has helped you consider how valuable peace is in your life. Whether it is in a quiet morning ritual, or something bigger like setting more boundaries in your life. I hope slow and gentle living can help guide you, as it has done for me, and help you invite more peace and calm in to your life.

I would really love to know your thoughts and how valuable peace is for you … If you feel able, please do share in the comments.

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