Create Your Own Slow Self Care Toolkit!

"When you are compassionate with yourself, you trust in your soul- which you let guide your life" John O'Donohue

This voiceover is an audio version of my Slow Sunday Letter below. It is unedited, so may have some stutters, imperfections, and background noise. I hope you enjoy listening to it anyway!

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Welcome back to another Slow Sunday Letter! I hope you have had a slow and gentle week.

Today we are thinking about how to create our own unique self care toolkits - toolkits that we can pull out and rifle through whenever we need some extra love and care.

A self care toolkit is full to the brim of activities, ideas, things, people, actions, reflections, nourishment and anything and everything you find soothing and calming. Curating this ‘toolkit’ will take a little thought, and a little time, and it will often evolve and change - either with you or alongside the seasons.

So without further ado, grab a cuppa, get cosy and let’s radiate self love and create our own self care toolkits!

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Why Do We Need A Self Care Toolkit?

“Sometimes the most important thing in a whole day is the rest we take between two deep breathes” – Etty Hillesum

Life can feel overwhelming. Whether it comes from work, family, social obligations or just life in general, we can all feel overwhelmed, anxious, or stressed at times. Difficult periods are inevitable.  It is so important to give yourself as much grace as possible when you have these feelings. Just carrying on or powering through, ignoring these thoughts and feelings rarely works, and more often, will see you feeling even more anxious and disconnected.

I have anxiety and it effects me every day, I manage it fairly well these days, but this wasn’t always the case. My overwhelm snuck up on me day by day, I didn’t see myself slipping into a permanent state of panic and anxiety. My voice of anxiety had grown so loud and so overbearing, I couldn’t hear myself at all anymore. I had lost who I was. I was terrified to leave the house, I retreated into myself, and struggled to communicate with those around me honestly about how I was feeling.

I carried on, and pushed myself all the way to breaking point, until one day I couldn’t function anymore. I couldn’t take one more step with the heavy load I had been carrying with me.

I had reached a dead end, and I had to finally seek help. In doing so, I took the very first small step towards a new life… I embarked on a very long, but very transformative healing journey. In the years since, I have devoted so much time to self-care, self-discovery, wellbeing practices and mindful rituals. There is no short cut, but slowly and surely with support- I started to feel safe and grounded. I started to get to know my true authentic self, possibly for the first time ever. And then, I discovered slow and gentle living, and I found the peace and calm my mind, body, and spirit had craved for so long.

My anxiety is something that I live with every day, it is a constant conversation back and forth in my mind. I am very hard on myself, prone to panic and can easily get overwhelmed. I have worked very hard to create a life that feels safe, slow, and gentle. But life happens, and in my moments of overwhelm, and more so in the moments after, I rely on my self-care toolkit, and slow living philosophy to help support me and get me back on even ground again.

And you can create your own self care tool kit too … it is a wonderful resource to tap into every day, but particularly when you are in the most need of a gentle hand, and some extra love. Spending some time curating this tool kit means that it is ready to go whenever you need it, you won’t have to think too much (which is perfect if overwhelmed) and you should have a good mix of activities and ideas to gravitate towards that are guaranteed to calm, and bring you back in touch with yourself and what’s important to you.

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Create a Self-Care Toolkit

What comes to mind when you hear the words ‘self-care’? Is it a long bubble bath? Half an hour reading? A glass of wine with a friend? Meditation? A walk?

The truth is, there is no one single approach to self-care. It can be anything at all really. If it is something that nourishes your body, mind, and spirit, it is self-care. Setting aside time for rituals and practices that are good for our mental wellbeing can create a safety net when you need one the most.

There is a wealth of advice, knowledge, suggestions, and inspiration out there. Anything and everything from meditation to daily walks, art therapy, crystals, breathing techniques, mindful cooking, balancing chakras – the list could go on and on.

A self-care toolkit is designed and curated by you, for you. It can help you plan self-care into your daily routines, until it becomes an integral part of your life.

Journal Prompt-

What does self-care mean to me?

Self-care plans are personal, but we should all start with the basics and build from there.

The Basics in your Self-Care Toolkit:

• Eat well

• Stay Hydrated

• Get enough sleep

• Move your body

• Connect with others

Once your basics are in place, it is time to think about self-awareness and self-discovery, as we create our own bespoke self-care toolkit based on what soothes you, what you love, what makes your feel safe and what you are curious about.

Self-Care Toolkit Foundation Ideas:

Breathe

If you’re feeling overwhelmed or anxious, a quick way to begin to alleviate those feelings is by doing breathing exercises. It is so easy to lose your breath, this process can happen suddenly, or over the course of hours. Panic can build slowly, and without you being aware of it. A skipped breath here and there, tiny increments in your heart rate. Breathing is something we do not have to think about, but in times of stress or overwhelm taking a physical step away and practicing some deep breathing or calming breathing techniques can be a great way to control panic, encourage relaxation and lower your stress response.

Create Boundaries

Healthy boundaries are crucial for your wellbeing, and saying no is ok! It allows you to take control and put your wants and needs first. Placing boundaries begins with being kinder to ourselves. If something is going to cost your peace, is it worth it? Creating and maintaining boundaries, is one of the hardest things to do. Often those around you may not understand or necessarily agree with the boundaries you have set, but it is okay to put your wellbeing first. Follow your intuition and enforce healthy boundaries that protect you.

With healthy boundaries in place, you will be able to build a better work life balance, more respectful relationships with others, and a stronger bond with yourself and your needs.

Be Kind To Yourself

‘Be careful how you are talking to yourself, because you are listening’ Lisa M Hayes

Give yourself some grace – it is so easy to put ourselves down, especially when going through a difficult time. Showing yourself some compassion when you notice negative thinking can help make you feel safe, loved, and boost your self-esteem. Try thinking about how you would support a loved one, or try talking to your inner child. The greatest relationship you will ever have is with yourself, so practice kindness and love.

Share With Others

Being open and honest with others is not easy. I have a tough time being vulnerable, I find it hard to open up to people (hello, introversion). Instead, I prefer to process my thoughts and emotions myself in my own time. However, it is important to encourage yourself to talk to those around you. Sharing how you feel with others can alleviate pressure, help you feel supported and heard, and create a positive and supportive environment when you need a little extra support.

You can seek professional help and support if you prefer to speak to someone not in your inner social network, or reach out to family and friends. In the same way you would support your loved ones, practice accepting love and guidance from others.

Journal

It is no secret I am an advocate of journaling for self-care. Writing down how you feel when overwhelmed or anxious is a powerful way to process emotions, thoughts and feelings.

Free Writing

Writing from a stream of consciousness allows you to express yourself, without judgment and free of editing. Set yourself a timer and write, don’t think, just allow your mind to relax, and let the words come out.

Journal Prompts -

What is on my mind right now?

How am I feeling today?

Having a conversation with yourself and writing down your thoughts and feelings can help you gain control of your emotions. It is also an amazing resource for self-reflection and cultivating gratitude. I often read my journals back to help me understand myself a little better, and to remind myself how strong I am, and how far I've come. Sometimes, there is no better person to learn from than you.

Our self-care toolkit will change, grow and evolve over time. It is yours to develop and use as you need. In addition, we can also reconnect with slow and gentle living as a guiding philosophy.

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I really hope this week’s Slow Sunday Letter has been helpful. Having a full self-care toolkit will be a valuable and powerful resource for when you need it the most. Those time we need a little extra support, or life is just a little tougher … your toolkit is right there, and will help cushion the hard times.

If you feel able, please do share what is in your own self-care toolkit and how you incorporate slow and gentle living into your life. If this is new to you, I’d love to know what you think, will you give anything a try? If I can help in anyway, please do reach out.

I would really love to know your thoughts and if any of this resonated with you - if you feel able, please do share in the comments.

Thank you for being here,

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