How To Be Slow & Gentle With Yourself
“The challenge is not to be perfect — it is to be whole.” — Jane Fonda
This voiceover is an audio version of my Slow Sunday Letter below. It is unedited, so may have some stutters, imperfections, and background noise. I hope you enjoy listening to it anyway!
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Welcome back to another Slow Sunday Letter! I hope you have had a slow and gentle week.
Today’s letter is a return to a letter published back in November 2023. I wanted to update it a little, add a voice over, and as it is one of my favourite posts of the last year, I wanted to share it again with you.
I often catch myself saying to my friends and family ‘be slow and gentle with yourself’, and in each of my Slow Sunday Letter’s, I begin and sign off by extending a wish to you, my readers, that ‘I hope you have a slow and gentle week’ … but have I ever explained what that means?
In this week’s Slow Sunday Letter, I want to explain how to be slow and gentle with yourself. I am hopeful this will embed itself into your every day, but I would also like it to serve as a reminder that you can wrap yourself up in slow and gentle loving arms whenever you need, particularly if you are going through a difficult time.
So grab a cuppa, get cosy and let’s dive into what it means to be slow and gentle with yourself …
Slow & Gentle is a form of Self-Love
Being slow and gentle is a form of self-love, and it is an every day practice. Being gentle, doesn’t mean you are not pushing yourself, it is allowing yourself to move at a slower pace, to your rhythm with love and compassion. We give ourselves the grace to recover from stress, pain, and hard times and focus on connection with ourselves, nature, and those around us.
Being gentle with yourself will help you thrive, while a slow living philosophy will wrap you up and give you a safe place to land.
1. Create A Safe Place
Create a safe place, wherever that may be or whoever that may be with. Surrounding yourself with peace, calm and comfort will envelop you and make you feel cherished. This in turn will allow your mind, body, and spirit to relax, which promotes healing and grounding energy.
2. Stay Grounded
Practicing your ability to ground yourself will encourage your ability to stay calm and connected with your inner voice. In the face of stress, overwhelm, chaos and noise – if you can learn to return to yourself and remain grounded you optimise your own energy and guidance over your emotions and thoughts.
How to Ground Yourself…
Practice meditation
Immerse yourself in nature
Use breathwork
Journal
Incorporate mindfulness into your day
Practice gratitude
3 3 3 Rule
The 333 Rule asks that you find three examples of what you can see, hear, and touch within your current environment. This technique is deceptively simple, but you should really allow yourself to focus and not be rushed, breathe and take a moment just for you.
3. Practice Positive Self-Talk
I know we often touch on being kind to yourself and practicing self-compassion – but it is so important. We can be so incredibly hard on ourselves, and in times of stress, we can be even more critical. Learn to talk to yourself with kindness and you will notice you feel better.
This isn’t as easy as it would appear, and is going to take time and patience. Hold yourself accountable, when you catch your inner voice being overly negative or critical, and flip the script, take the time and talk to yourself with kindness.
4. Take Time For Yourself
We all have very different lives, so my version of taking time for myself is likely to be completely different to yours. It is important to remember that we are focussing here on quality, not quantity. Even 5 minutes a day can be transformative. Give yourself permission to carve out some time for you to fill as you wish.
You could elongate your morning shower, or go outside on your break at work, read before bed, or get up earlier before the rest of the house wakes. Understanding yourself better and catering to your needs is so important. A lack of this will have a negative impact on how you can show up for yourself and others, and it will affect you all day long. A little goes a long way, so next time snatch a few minutes here and there, just for you.
5. Pottering
I recently read an excerpt of Anna McGovern’s book Pottering: A cure for Modern Life and honestly, I felt seen. I love pottering, but even more so during tough times or when my anxiety is high. I find real solace in pottering. It can really calm my mind, while keeping my body moving in gentle activity and rhythm.
Anna McGovern defines Pottering as ‘To occupy oneself in a pleasant way but without a definite plan or purpose. “Pleasant” implies comfort. “Without a definite plan or purpose” implies freedom.’
Pottering, she explains, requires some form of gentle movement. ‘You are choosing to do something satisfying and useful, though sometimes the activity is slightly unnecessary. It’s satisfying because it gives you the illusion of control.’
Ideal pottering activities includes:
Rummaging in drawers, rearranging bookshelves, clearing out your cupboards or listening to music while ironing.
To read more check out one of my most popular Slow Sunday Letter’s … Your Guide To ‘Pottering’.
“Smile, breathe, and go slowly.” —Thích Nhất Hạnh
I really hope this week’s Slow Sunday Letter has made you think about how you can be slow and gentle with yourself. I do believe this is an every day guiding philosophy, but this will be especially soothing if you’re experiencing a tough time.
Thank you for letting me revisit this.
I would really love to know your thoughts and if any of this resonated with you - if you feel able, please do share in the comments.
Thank you for being here,
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This was such a wonderful listen. Thank you for sharing. I am curious about the idea of pottering and the idea of gentleness. 🩷