How to Embrace All the Emotions in Your Life
“We love all of our girl. Every messy, beautiful, piece of her.” - Joy, Inside Out 2
This voiceover is an audio version of my Slow Sunday Letter below. It is unedited, so may have some stutters, imperfections, and background noise. I hope you enjoy listening to it anyway!
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Welcome back to another Slow Sunday Letter! I hope you have had a slow and gentle week.
Sometimes we all need a little reminder of the good stuff, to appreciate the here and now, to be grateful for all the amazing things we have. But… it is also okay to feel sad, anxious, frustrated, or angry - it is okay to feel all of these emotions. You may be in a season of your life that sees you facing a wide range of emotions, both the good and the harder ones. When you feel sad, tired, anxious or overwhelmed it may feel like a big black cloud is forming over your head, and everything feels that little bit harder.
In this Slow Sunday Letter, I want to remind everyone, it is okay to feel all of your emotions. They all make you, you. And you are wonderful. So grab a cuppa, get cosy and let’s see if we can find the rainbow in the rain …
“I know new emotions can seem unhelpful at first, but I’ve learned that every emotion is a good emotion.” - Joy, Inside Out 2
I recently went to the cinema to see the AMAZING Inside Out 2 . This movie is so incredibly good on so many levels, but particularly in showing us that all our emotions need to take their moment sometimes.
In one scene Sadness takes control in Riley’s mind, in a sad moment Riley starts to cry - Sadness starts to panic that she has done something wrong, but Joy reassures, and explains that, ‘it’s ok we need this’.
Inside Out 2 provides an example of how ‘reframing difficult emotions as tools to use in balance with all your other feelings, will get you a lot further in life than trying to suppress or banish feelings you don't enjoy’ Jessica Stillman (in)c.
It is so hard to explain how it feels to have anxiety ever present in your mind, which is why I loved Inside Out 2’s take on it so much. Anxiety is trying to protect you- looking for any and all possible bad outcomes to either prevent, protect or prepare you for them. It is trying to keep us safe, but it can sometimes try much, much too hard. When I think of my own anxiety like this, it really helps me try and manage it better. Giving it space to be heard… what is it trying to protect me from? Why is it feeling this way? What can I do to encourage calm?
We are human, and part of being human is feeling a wide range of emotions and having tough days, as well as good.
When Joy take’s Sadness down into Riley’s memory pool where her belief’s are formed, Sadness is worried she may ruin or disrupt something. Joy, takes Sadness’ hand and reassures her, ‘Remember Sadness, wherever I go, you go too’. This really stuck out to me, as often I will be afraid of being too happy for fear of sadness following close by. But I realise, this isn’t true. Joy and Sadness don’t follow one another, they travel together - hand in hand. Even on our hardest days, Joy is standing there beside us. And on joyful days, sometimes we will remember someone or something that is missing. We all struggle from time to time, it is important to acknowledge and give space to sadness, anxiety and fear. When we give them some time and a voice - we have an opportunity to ask for help, practice self compassion and grow from there. Remember joy, compassion and love are always standing close by, alongside any sadness, fear or anxiety you may be feeling.
When we say that we are grateful for life, we can’t just be grateful for the joyful moments. We must be grateful for it all, as they all form parts of who we are.
“You can't just bottle us up!” — Joy, Inside Out 2
I have had a brilliant couple of months, my anxiety has been rumbling along in the background as usual, but not rocking the boat too much. I’d been pushing out of my comfort zone more, and had some really lovely, sparkly, wholesome days, where I felt on top of the world.
But, my ‘good day’ winning streak came to an abrupt end, when I woke up feeling really anxious, and a black cloud formed above my head.
I spent the entire morning stressing about this bad day, and feeling my anxiety gathering up strength. I am prone to panic, and often, if overwhelmed, I will lose my breath throughout the day. I could feel the walls closing in on me, and the panic rising. In these moments, I get tunnel vision and I feel totally out of control. Once I am rolling down that anxiety hill, I can't stop it. After an anxiety attack, I started to breathe again and slowly calmed myself.
After my anxiety attack, I started the all to familiar negative self talk. Not only for having a bad day in general, but berating myself for letting my anxiety take over, frustrated that I hadn’t noticed and halted the spiral before it was too late.
Inside Out 2 serves as a wonderful reminder - that we are more than our emotions, and even on bad days or when our emotions are feeling stronger than us, the best place to return to is self love and self compassion.
'You don’t get to choose who Riley is. Anxiety, you need to let her go.' — Joy, Inside Out 2
I decided to stop being so hard on myself, and instead gave myself some extra love and gentle support. I knew looking back on the day - the signs I had missed that my anxiety was high, and instead of beating myself up for not reacting differently, I accepted that I was doing my best. I acknowledged that my body was trying to protect me, and I recognised how I could have listened to myself better.
Yes, this was a bad day, but I was okay.
I decided not to focus my energy on regret and frustration and just accepted myself. With a little bit of self love, and some comforting words from my Husband, I found a lot of the stress of the day melted away, and my black cloud got a little smaller. I realised the best way to deal with my anxiety and my bad day, was to accept the circumstances for what they were, acknowledge that I had not failed or ruined anything, and most importantly I did not give into the temptation of letting my inner voice tear me down further.
When I got into bed that night, I felt exhausted, but also proud of myself for managing a tough day. By then my black cloud had made way for some clearer skies.
I breathed in deeply, and closed my eyes.
Tonight as the sun sets put down your troubles.
Count your blessings.
Remind yourself that whatever you did today was enough.
YOU are enough!
Tomorrow is another day.
A fresh start.
A new beginning.
A Bad Day : Journal Prompts
One of the best ways to get out of your head and disrupt your bad day is journaling. These journal prompts will help you slow down, step away from the spiral in your mind, open up, and give your inner voice some space and time to express itself in a safe and kind way.
How are you feeling right now?
What do you want to let go of and why?
What do you love about your life?
How can you show up for yourself and give yourself some self love today?
List three things you are proud of yourself for…
What or who never fails to make you smile?
What does your perfect day look like
Where do you want to direct your energy?
My ‘self-soothing’ list
I want to invite you to create your very own ‘self soothing’ list - this is a list of all your favourite things, places, people and activities - anything that will make you smile, laugh and deliver some lightness and gentle support.
Listen to some of my favourite music
Journal
Get in the kitchen and cook something delicious
Get a hug from my Husband
Watch some nostalgic TV - like Friends or The Gilmore Girls or ANY Disney movie
Read
Phone one of my sisters or my bestie!
Go for a walk
Have a bubble bath
Have a nap
I hope this Slow Sunday Letter will help you ride those bad days when they come round. Next time you have a bad day, feel stressed or anxious, remember life is full of good and bad days and you are going to be okay. Don’t squash your emotions, you are human and this beautiful life comes with a few storms. We get to feel all the emotions, and when you are experiencing a tough day, it is an opportunity to lean into your support network and give yourself an extra bit of self love.
Take care of yourself, and use this as a chance to really examine how you are feeling and if there is anything you need learn more about yourself and your life.
How do you soothe yourself when you are having a bad day or if you are feeling anxious? If you feel able, please do share in the comments.
Thank you for being here,
With Light & Love
Emily xxx
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Lovely gems again. Thank you Emily! It’s always a lovely way to start my week. 😊
oy, takes Sadness’ hand and reassures her, ‘Remember Sadness, wherever I go, you go too’. That's lovely. I'm going to see this movie with my niece tomorrow. Thank you for sharing Emily!