Lessons From Celebrating One Year Sober!

Reflecting on 365 days (and counting) alcohol free ...

This voiceover is an audio version of my Slow Sunday Letter below. It is unedited, so may have some stutters, imperfections, and background noise. I hope you enjoy listening to it anyway!

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Welcome back to another Slow Sunday Letter! I hope you have had a slow and gentle week.

Today is a very special post, as I celebrate one year sober!

In today’s Slow Sunday Letter I wanted to share why I decided to quit drinking, and what and who inspired me along this path, as well as reflecting on some of the challenges and the positives of the last year.

If you have ever thought about making a similar change, or you are just curious about sober life, I hope this letter shows you what is possible.

So grab a cuppa, get cosy and let’s see what life is like alcohol free!

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ONE YEAR SOBER

‘Unless I quit drinking, I was not going to get the life I wanted.’ Catherine Gray

I honestly can’t believe it, one whole year alcohol free. I never thought I would be here to be honest. If you had told me a couple of years ago that I would be celebrating one year sober, I would never have believed you.

Before we dive in, I just wanted to say - this is my experience with alcohol, being sober curious, and then deciding to live alcohol free for the last year. This is not dictating, prescribing or judging anyone. I just wanted to share my experience, and mark this very special anniversary with you.

I didn’t hit ‘rock bottom’ - I didn’t have any epiphany moments, or sudden dramatic changes of heart - I simply followed my curiosity, and started to get (real) honest with myself about my relationship with alcohol.

It happened slowly.

I had gradually started to drink less and less. Slowly, but surely I started eliminating drinks, reducing my choices. Soon I stopped drinking at home, and started to actively cut down when I was out socialising, or going out for dinner. But, reducing just didn’t work for me. All I could think about if I went out was should I drink, or shouldn’t I … and then if I did drink, I agonised over what to drink - and how much.

For me, it felt easier to just try, and go one month sober - as soon as I decided to quit for a month, the thoughts stopped and I felt a weight lift. This month stretched on, into two - into four, into six - and then I knew I was going to go a whole year sober. I started to believe I could do it.

A big turning point for me was reading, ‘The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober’ by Catherine Gray. It held up a mirror, helped me work through some harsh truths, and showed me how much better life could be sober.

What the definition of sober should be :

1. Not affected by alcohol

2. Bright, joyful and serene

3. Dazzling in colour

The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober | Catherine Gray

The honest truth was I had a bad relationship with alcohol, and to compound it further, it became more and more evident that drinking made my anxiety so much worse. I used alcohol to soothe my emotions and block feelings out. I also used alcohol to feel more confident, to mask, and to try and cope in situations when my anxiety was screaming at me.

It all started to get harder and harder. I had started to hate the effect alcohol had on me. I hated the groggy feeling in the mornings, the colourless world the day after drinking. I realised how broken and disturbed my sleep had become. I have always had a really sensitive stomach, and so in the past, I was often sick if I drunk too much. But, in the last few months of drinking, I was sick more and more often - even one drink could make me feel sick - it felt as if my body was rejecting alcohol.

I wanted to let go of something that I knew was controlling me, something that was stopping me living the life I wanted to live. I wanted to feel free.

I got a peek at what life could look like without alcohol, and with each passing month, I started to feel better and better, and it became easier and easier to stay motivated and maintain sobriety.

When I started listening to what my body was telling me, I felt it was a mind, body and soul response. More than any other time in my life before - I felt it with every part of me - I was done with alcohol.

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CHALLENGES

Social Aspect

Drinking and alcohol is woven into our society - it is ingrained in so much of what we do, and how we celebrate and mark occasions. It can be quite a hurdle for those wanting to cut down, and for those newly sober.

What I discovered was quite simple - and it was echoed in Emma Gannon’s amazing piece, ‘socialising, or even partying sober’ :

“My rule now: if I can’t do it sober, then I clearly don’t want to do it. If I feel the urge to drink at a party, because it’s too loud and I feel the only way to get through it is to numb my senses, then I’ll go home. After all, I have a pile of amazing books next to my bed that need reading. If I’m in the company of an emotional vampire and I need to drink wine to get through it — then it’s time to leave”. - Emma Gannon

I realised it is far more about the people you are with and the fun you are having - and that this has nothing to do with consuming alcohol.

I also realised that my alcohol free life, and options were often a lot more me, and a lot more fun. Coffee shop dates, cinema dates, walks, museum visits and more. And if I am honest, I never really enjoyed late nights, drinking at pubs for hours, or crowded and loud bars. Now if I do go out with friends or family, I feel like it is a lot more in alignment with me. I can enjoy a couple of non alcoholic drinks, or have a fun date, and still be home at a decent time to get cosy, in my comfy clothes, and enjoy a herbal tea (I love chamomile and lavender at night time).

Judgement

Some people really seem obsessed with wanting to know why - and often this is coupled with them wanting to justify or explain their own relationship with alcohol.

These conversations can feel a little awkward to begin with, but as is so often the case, a lot of your feelings around being ’judged’ can stem from your own insecurities, and feelings rather than anyone truly judging you.

I also found it really interesting to talk to people about their experiences, and thoughts around alcohol and being sober curious. I was surprised by how positive, and inspiring these conversations were. I think any time you can open up these conversations is a positive, and very often it is in sharing, and being honest with those around you, that all of us end up feeling less alone, and less judged.

Confidence

I had associated so much of my confidence and persona when socialising with alcohol. Especially being more introverted, I felt in the past I had relied heavily on alcohol to get me in ‘the mood’ to socialise, go out or to push myself out of my comfort zone. The realisation that I could be myself, and enjoy going out on my terms, without alcohol, took a while, but once I figured that out - I actually felt more confident than ever. Alcohol is no longer part of my identity.

‘Sobriety has give me what I hoped to find in every drink; a quiet confidence in myself, that I am enough as I am’ Laurie Mcallister

Relationships

Relationships do change, but on the whole for the better. I feel a deeper connection with my friends and family now. And when I go out and socialise, without the blurring of alcohol, I feel more present, and more connected to those I am with. If you had relationships that were based solely on alcohol, then they probably weren’t real.

I worried about these changes, and feeling awkward or different, but the truth is, as you become more aligned with who you are, and more confident - the stronger, and more authentic your relationships become.

Raw Emotions

I definitely used alcohol to block out, numb or ignore emotions and feelings. I still feel unsteady with raw emotion, and I do still keep so much bottled up. I have never been very comfortable ‘sitting with emotions’, being open, and raw or wearing my heart on my sleeve. This has probably been one of the biggest challenges for me personally. Learning that alcohol doesn’t help, and that I don’t need alcohol to soothe myself. Starting to confront more difficult feelings, and parts of myself that I have been avoiding for a long time - is a process, and it isn’t easy, but I know, I am absolutely on the right path.

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POSITIVES

“I chose sober because I wanted a better life, I stay sober because I got one”unknown

Being alcohol free has filled my life with unexpected joy. I truly never expected this! And I am loving this version of me.

Not drinking has changed the way I enjoy life. Each of my firsts; my first holiday, Birthday, Christmas, wedding etc. showed me a different way to enjoy myself, and be more present. There were some moments of wanting, or comparing - but most of the time I loved it.

Some sober joy …

• Physically and mentally, I feel the best I have felt in years.

• I love waking up in the morning - I love not feeling groggy.

• I feel more energetic, productive and clearer in my mind.

• My creativity feels like it has been reignited.

• Deeper connections with those around me.

• My anxiety levels have been much lower.

• My sleep has improved so much.

• My heart rate has come down by about 10 bpm on average.

• My skin is better.

• I have lost weight.

• I feel so much more connected to my intuition.

• I feel more confident.

• I make better decisions.

• Saved money.

• I am more present.

• I feel free.

I love this new sober life, this transformation and getting to know this version of myself. If I knew then, what I know now - I feel like I would have done this years ago.

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Recommendations

Instagram:

@soberflourish

@sobergirlsociety

Books:

The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober - Catherine Gray

Sunshine Warm Sober: The unexpected joy of being sober – forever - Catherine Gray

The Sober Diaries: How one woman stopped drinking and started living - Clare Pooley

Sober Curious: The Blissful Sleep, Greater Focus, and Deep Connection Awaiting Us All on the Other Side of Alcohol - Ruby Warrington

Films:

The Outrun (based on the book by Amy Liptrot)

Substack:

What I DON'T miss about drinking

Socialising, or even partying, sober

One thing that supercharged my creativity

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Slow & Steady - My NEW Paid Membership!

Would you like company through a slow and steady year? Then join my new membership!

A cosy and gentle space to gather together, learn from and inspire one another. Go deeper into Slow & Gentle Living and what it can mean for you.

Slow & Steady will offer 12 exclusive letters for members moving through each month of 2025. The membership is an extension of my free offerings, a deeper and more personal dive into slow and gentle living, creative work and my own life and experiences.

I do hope you will consider joining Slow & Steady - for £3.50 a month (or £35 a year), you will get an exclusive monthly letter, access to our members only journal chat space and a personal welcome letter from me to you!

I would be over the moon to welcome you. To read more about what my new membership includes read my launch post below!

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I really hope you have enjoyed this Slow Sunday Letter, over the last year I have read many stories, and listened to so many people’s sober and sober curious experiences, and I got so much out of them. They really gave me a sense of confidence, and inspiration, so I wanted to throw my experience out there - in the hope it may help someone else.

If you are dealing with serious alcohol addiction, then please reach out to loved ones, friends or a doctor- you don’t have to deal with this alone.

drink aware: Alcohol support services

I would really love to know your thoughts. If you feel able, please do share in the comments.

I will be taking a little break next weekend, as I have decided on the months of the year that have five Sundays, I will take the fifth Sunday off. It is my way of incorporating a little break throughout the year. So I will see you back here on Sunday 6th April for Book Lovers Chat!

Thank you for being here,

If you would like to support my work, you can buy me a coffee following this link!

You can buy your very own Slow Living, Book Lovers and Writing inspired Merch designed by me! Do follow the link to take a look (hosted by Teemill):

My Teemill Clothing Store!

If you enjoyed this post, found it useful or want to help me spread the word about how enriching Slow & Gentle Living can be, please do like/leave a comment or share/restack to help others discover Generosity of Spirit. Thank you for reading!